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3 Reasons You're Not Going to do Sh*t with the New Year and 3 Action Plans to Make Sure You Do.

Updated: Jan 9, 2021

If you do any of these 3 things you can say bye-bye to your resolutions.

I woke up the other day feeling kinda crappy. Decided I wanted to not be on any social media for the day, so I uninstalled Facebook and Instagram.

After a pretty full day of being internally confused and weirdly depressed I figured out what was going on.

NOTE** This was written in 2019 but the info is still so amazing I want to keep it up. Things have since continued to expand. In both 2019 and 2020 I doubled my income, continued to grow my relationship with Adam and have stepped more into the leader I know my heart wants me to be. LET'S GO...

It's the end of the year and I wasn't where I thought I would be.

After a mini anger filled freak out in the kitchen, I talked about it with my boyfriend, Adam.

This miiight have been my face minus the fake eyelashes. Oh the dream life.

We figured out a few things I could have done differently and a lot of things that I was doing right.

If you're anything like me and create big goals and targets for yourself that other people think are insane, you'll definitely understand the feeling of not getting there.

And I'm assuming you're reading this to make sure you know everything you can to work to make it happen.

You'll ALSO know that you (probably) don't celebrate yourself enough!

Pro tip: Find your personal patterns. When I'm finding myself overeating and side hustling snacks, I know it's time to celebrate me.

"They'll never knowwww"

Here's a little bit of my year in review, skip to #1 if you just want to see the red flags.

In 2019 I've taken my part time coaching business to full-time, I've had an amazing time creating GoldMind Podcast and I've supported a LOT of woman to start creating their life on purpose.

I've also gotten this website started! I've traveled multiple times for "work", I spoke on a women success panel in New York, and was paid to stay in a casino hotel in Vegas so I could support one of my favorite people in her magic.

Outside of business, I have somehow cut my fear of commitment into shreds and after a 3 month break from my man, in January 2019, for no reason other than my intuition telling me to do it, we've been together and stronger than ever in our new house! It will be five years together this month <3.

This is me waving to rent. "I just wanna tell you that I had enough!"

I'm on my way to retiring him from his now painting business so he can go for his dream business and it feels not only attainable, but like it's going to happen very soon.

So, 2019 was really good.

Even though I had some flops and massive target misses, the person who I have become in the last year has far surpassed the person I was the year before. And that's what I've always been taught to look at.

So thanks for celebrating with me!

As far as the stuff that didn't happen, I'm going to take all the things I've learned from what I HAVE accomplished and pair them with things I've learned looking back on the last year that I could have done differently.

And know, that if you're doing any of these, you're greatly fu#king yourself over.

Here we go:

1) Avoiding Getting Uncomfortable.

Easy before you go and tell me you already know this. This sucker right here is sneaky. In the future I'm going to call this "sneaking comfort".

We can feel uncomfortable doing new things all the time! If you're a vision builder, I'm sure you're not always comfortable.

But... are you stretching into all the things you actually want? Or are you creating a fake stretch into some things just to make it look like you're working really hard? Read more to understand what I'm saying.

I was a respected C student, I know the game.

"I'm happy with that, I have a lot going on right now."

**Stop making things look harder than they are so you don't have to do the actual uncomfortable things that will actually get you want you want.

This is a subconscious thing most of the time, so just start to notice.

You know the sound you make when you lift something really heavy?

Yeah, I've literally caught myself (and other people!) making that sound while doing not hard or heavy things, just because someone walked in the room.

Like, I must have wanted to let them know I was working hard and struggling rather than googling before and after fitness pictures or watching funny animal videos for the third time that day.

Most of the time this happened when I was actually working. The funny thing is, I don't make those noises when I'm alone?

Notice, I guarantee you do it, too. Whether your face scrunches up to make it look like you're thinking really hard, or you make the noise... just notice your neanderthal ways.

The neanderthals were actually WAY more advanced than we give them credit for, but for the sake of the grunt, let's think about them grunting around naked in the forest.

If you're making things seem harder than they are so you feel love, stop, cause you're only fooling yourself.

Plan of action: Just notice. If you notice, you'll naturally start to stop yourself. It's crazy empowering.

2. Don't actually plan on finishing.

I know, I know, you wouldn't make a PLAN if you didn't PLAN on finishing, right?

But, what if you would?

A long time ago I learned about this thing called The Law of Diminishing Intent...

Simply put, if you have broke a promise to yourself before, you're more likely to break it again. And the more you break one, the more it will happen until you're a bag of nothing but bullshit commitments to yourself and others.

"I'm going to say it to her!"

"I'm going to change my lifestyle!!"

"... lose the weight!"

"... be happier!"

"...get up in 5 more minutes and clean."

" a healthy lunch!"

"...start a side business!"

"... invest in a coach!!!"

This is you talking to you.

It could be as small as telling yourself you're going to floss your teeth after you're done brushing and then finding yourself at the sink without flossing walking away proud that at least you thought about doing it...

"I think this means it's going to happen tomorrow. Go you, you sexy flossing bitch."

I'm pretty sure that you wouldn't be reading this list if you haven't seen a big personal challenge following thorough on things.

I still find myself resisting putting the last three dishes in the dishwasher because I feel like "I've done enough to get by".

Maybe you don't have this going on? Maybe you're snooping on my stuff 'cause you either know me and don't like me so you want to fill your arsenal, or you know me and just really love me. :).

Xoxo to both of you.

Either way, If this isn't you, maybe you know someone who this might support. So read on.

If you do have a challenge following through, there's something that's happening that you might not notice, let me point it out for you.

When you make a promise or set a goal, I have no doubt that you're best self means it. But If you really listen to what you are telling yourself, you'll hear a little voice saying,

"Sure you will."

"It's not that big of a deal if you don't finish, it's the thought that counts!"

"I won't be mad at myself if I give up, I've given up a bunch of other times and look! I'm still alive and kicking."

"If I don't do it now I can do it later no problem, so it's going to happen EVENTUALLY"

...Listen close enough and you'll hear a bunch of justifications and bullsh*t coming through for you.

Good news? It's actually coming through FOR you. You can change your inner conversation to one that shows you more personal power and moves you into committed action.

***Lighting bolts not guaranteed.

Action plan: START SMALL.

Use the tiny bit of will power that you have left and show yourself that you can follow through on something tiny for one week.

Like flossing that tooth, or drinking one cup of water first thing in the morning.

And really quickly, you will start to build the trust back into your subconscious. But you MUST do your best, or it won't work.

This is what happened to me last year in the few areas I didn't follow through on, I simply put them off and didn't commit. Thought I would "do it later".

Go. Start. Now.

The LAST THING that will f*ck up your new year is almost the opposite of the the other one but a lot of times pair right with each other, even with us closet high achievers...

3. Giving yourself TOO MANY things to do, because you want it all.

Turn all those papers into unchecked boxes on my "change the world" checklist and that's about right.

This will blow up in your face every time. If you pick no more than 3, but preferably ONE BIG THING at a time, you'll actually get more done quicker than if you worked on them all at the same time.

(Another really good book: Essentialism, this is great if you're a people pleaser, too! I think there's even a book called "One Big Thing".)

Instead if getting everything done 5% at a time, Get one thing done 100% at a time and watch your life change.

"But I multitask!"

Great. Me too! My ADD allows me to stay focused on a bunch of things at once, but that doesn't mean I'm more productive, that just means I'm pulled in more directions and make it look good. (Que 'thug life' glasses.)

If we focus on one thing at a time, whether that's doing the dishes or putting our phone on silent and writing content for an hour an a half straight... science tells us that we can get at least 30% MORE done.

Action plan: Pick no more than 3 things to get done a day. You can give yourself bonus things if you're freaking out, but you can check off as BONUSES ONLY, and celebrate them as such!

Set a timer for 50 min to 1 and a half hours and only work on one thing at a time.

Watch the difference it makes.

For me?

These 3 things I'm going to take with me into the new year even more than last year. And I suggest you try at least one of them.

Let me know how it goes.

Happy New Year!

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