This is going to be for the people that are challenged with keeping promises to themselves.
They want to start consciously changing their habits but find that they keep ending up in front of the same wall...
The wall of no follow through.
"Take a pic cause I make this wall look soooo goooood"
If this is you, hi.
I'm a recovering procrastinator and commitment breaker, too.
I've shifted my life from not following through on most anything, to having the healthiest household I know and building a profitable business that I get to wake up to and love every day. And I keep improving.
I want to ease your worries, because I can assume that you're probably questioning your self as a person.
You might think:
"Do I have a character flaw? I mean, am I not meant to have a life like the one I want?
Am I just a f*cking idiot?... You know, I did get diagnosed with ADD, maybe that means it's harder for me...
I hate it, why can't I decide to change my life and ACTUALLY DO IT??? It's just not FAIR, it comes so easy to everyone else!
... Forget it, I'm going to go get some goodies and watch a movie, I'll start later."
You can't hide from me, baby.
The only challenge that you truly have is that your self-trust has been broken too many times. And I'm here to tell you that it's an easy fix!
You're not an idiot and you CAN change.
The only thing that's going on is that you have a bad habit.
That's all.
It's like your dog pooping in the house, just some sticky shit to clean up.
And I can assume that if you're doing personal development at all, you know that habits can be formed, right?
Right.
You just might be moving too quickly.
There's something I tell all of my students and clients:
We can change our lives quicker when we realize that there's a process!
It's this weird "meet in the middle thing" that helps the process go so much quicker.
We see people make quantum leaps all the time, so we think we should be able to change in a day, but we don't see that those quantum leaps come from ACTION behind the scenes.
In order to have one, you must have the other. "Ohmmmmmmm."
If your self trust is broken, let's fix it!
The best way I've found is to find small, measly ways to show ourselves that we can, in fact, push our boundaries and be OKAY.
We get to teach ourselves that WE'RE NOT GOING TO DIE if we do something a new way or stretch out of our comfort zone...
This is essentially what your subconscious brain thinks at the core level, so we want to ease into change, or our "fight, flight, freeze or fawn" sympathetic nervous system will kick us back to safety and inaction.
An actual image of what your ego thinks finally acting on your purpose will bring your way.
The only time I've seen someone make a decision and never go back, is when it literally is a life or death situation, I've done this myself, so it is possible, but is also not the case 99.9% of the time, even in the extreme cases.
The first mistake I see people make, is that they want to make big changes quick.
But if you haven't even made small changes quick, you don't know how to scale!
Once you see the pattern of small changes, big changes will come in no time, promise.
It's like dating, the more you see commitment, the more you'll trust.
I want to give you a list of 7 things I did (and still continue to do) that stretch me just enough to...
A. Remind myself that I'm not going to die if I push my edge.
and
B. Help me gain self trust that I can make a promise and follow through on my commitments.
And eventually, just like accruing credit, you'll be able to trust yourself with bigger and bigger risks, to get bigger and bigger rewards so you can create the life you want, for real.
Here we go, you might not want to do all of these, but if you just pick one, you're moving in the right direction.
Here are 7 easy ways I built self trust to create the life I love:
1. Parking far in everything but storms.
This is still one of my favorite things to do. Funny enough, most of the time, there's a little tiny voice in my head that pitches a fit and wants me to save the 10 seconds it takes to walk from the back of the parking lot.
This is one of my favorites to show myself that the world won't crash by getting a little uncomfortable, that's why I even do it in a little but of snow or rain or cold weather. I DON'T do it if it's storming or icy out. And every once in a while, I'm actually running super late, so I won't feel bad about parking up front to save my day.
Plus, as you'll see with a lot on these list, it's great for my health!
WIN-WIN!
2. Walking upstairs with a full foot.
Bonus: This helps the booty.
This one started when I was really sick, if you guys follow my story you know that I could hardly walk, and COULD NOT walk up or down stairs without help. So when I started getting strength back, I noticed that it was harder to walk up the stairs with my whole foot on the step, rather than just my toes.
I figured out it's because it uses more muscle, and that was exactly where I had NONE. So, instead of taking the easy route and just using the front of my foot to walk up the stairs, I used my whole foot to get the exercise. ( Focus on putting weight on your heel)
I kept a great booty in mind, and it helped me commit. Find your fav.
Eventually, I could start running up stairs with flat foot for even more of a push, and still do.
This small shift in the way I place my foot on the stair really showed my mind that I cared about myself and would choose the more challenging way to gain more benefit quicker.
Try it out and work those legs, baby!
3. Fasting
Fasting is the shit. It allows me extra time, saves money, and is incredible for my body. It also stretches the heck out of my comfort zone. Food is one of those core survival desires that is extremely difficult to break away from. Our body literally thinks if we don't get calories, we'll die. Which is not the case for most of us. We're just addicted.
So by fasting, I've learned ways to manage the emotions that show up, I've learned biohacking tricks to not make it so difficult, but easy actually! And, I've learned that when I push through the discomfort of my mind thinking that world is going to end, I feel incredible in my mind AND body very shortly afterward.
Plus, my bloat goes away and it helps keep the extra pounds off. #bonus
Let me make this very clear, I'm not starving myself for weight loss, I'm fasting for benefits. There's more than enough info out there to learn why its great, ESPECIALLY if you are diagnosed with an auto immune disease.
And, a beautiful benefit is fat loss, enhanced mental clarity, and SO MUCH EXTRA TIME.
I'm a fan of an 8 hour eating window followed by 16 hours on fasting.
4. Not leaning on things.
Yet another health one...
Picture this, You're washing dishes at the sink or preparing food in the kitchen. Are you resting your body weight on the counter in front of you? Or worse, shifting your body weight on one leg and then resting your body on the counter? I bet you don't even realize, I didn't.
It was just a habit!
This is another one that came about when I was paying very close attention to my weak body.
Try this: When you're doing anything near something you can lean on like, washing hands, dishes, cooking, standing in line, at the bank, ect...
Stand with your weight centered in your body with feet slightly spread, and BACK AWAY FROM THE COUNTER. Stand UP. Feel it in your abs.
I bet she doesn't lean when she does the dishes.
When you practice this, and then catch yourself leaning, you'll feel how off wack it makes your body feel.
Hold yourself up and benefit in more ways than one. Enjoy the burnnnn.
5. Finishing tiny tasks that I start, like dishes or laundry.
Easy peezie, right? Yeah, maybe not for everyone. Half done laundry was my shit.
JUST FINISH IT, and watch yourself feel good... about yourself.
6. Say no once in a while.
I know this one might sting, and I also know it's time for you to get permission.
How does this build self trust? Because when you say NO, you're saying yes to YOU. And nothing creates more empowerment than putting yourself first.
And, don't make an excuse: don't lie about why you have to say no.
Just say no and tell them it's because you really just want to be home in your pj's, but to reach out next time.
Dr. Gabor Mate wrote a book called "When the body says no - Understanding the stress-disease connection.". It talks about how when we don't hold our personal boundaries and learn to stand for what we want (or don't want) it leads to crazy specific diseases.
Learning to give and receive no is crucial to our wellbeing.
7. One hour no phone in the morning.
Not only will this help you actually feel better throughout the whole day, but you will feel like a champion when you go to pick your phone up and then DECIDE to stay true to your promise.... AND PUT IT BACK DOWN.
Btw: Just in case you didn't know, you are in a state of hypnosis in the morning, so going straight on social media or email or news or calendar creates stress and anxiety that is tough to get rid of once you start it.
Plus, the type of light that is emitted from your phone sets off cortisol, the stress hormone, and you're already creating that to wake yourself up, so an influx might actually create stress quickly, and who wants that?
If an hour is too long, do 15 or 30 minutes and work your way up.
There you go, the 7 ways you can build self trust to help create the things you really want.
Which are you going to try first? How can you make it your own?
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